wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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