good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
