she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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