So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
