Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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