So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
