yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
