Pants 0. Shit 1.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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