About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
