is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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