At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
nutella sex= disaster
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
