Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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