would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
