Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
