Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
