Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
