Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
