She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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