So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
