How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
