you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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