i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
