where does the pee come out of this thing
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
