Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
