1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
