My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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