I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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