If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I just put wine in my tea
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
