is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
