i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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