Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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