let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
