She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There's always time for handjobs
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
