Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
