Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm always down for nudity.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
