mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
