Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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