If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
