I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
