so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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