Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
