Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
