I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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