I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
