Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you made out with another girl for some wings
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
