Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize