You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
