She is in my trunk
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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