i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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