Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
