Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
