Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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