it hurts more in the daytime
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
