I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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