the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
