Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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