If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
