You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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