his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
