no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
