I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think people are normalizing furries
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
