I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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