Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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