i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize