Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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