Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
