just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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