i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
